Deuteronomy - Moses Tells Off the Israelites

I've been at a Scout ceremony for my oldest today...he earned his religious knot, so the blog is getting out super late right now.  Not a terribly big deal, mostly because Deuteronomy was filled with tons of repetition.  The Israelites are almost to the promised land, but the Lord has already told Moses that he will not be able to ever enter because of his and his people's transgressions so he's a little pissed and pretty much lets the Israelites know it.

I'm going to touch on various sections that I highlighted as I read either because it was a "Hmmm, that was interesting" or a "What the hell?!?!?!" passage.

"No, it is not because of your merits or the integrity of your heart that you are going in to take possession of their land; but the Lord, your God, is driving these nations out before you on account of their wickedness and in order to keep the promise which he made on oath to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  Understand this, therefore:  it is not because of your merits that the Lord, your God, is giving you this good land to possess, for you are a stiff-necked people." (Ch 9, 5-6)

All I said was, "DAMN!" Tell 'em how you feel, there, Moses!  Don't hold anything back!

"If there arises among you a prophet or a dreamer who promises you a sign or wonder, urging you to follow other gods, whom you have not known, and to serve them:  even though the sign or wonder he has foretold you comes to pass, pay no attention to the words of that prophet or that dreamer; for the Lord, your God, is testing you to learn whether you really love him with all your heart and with all your soul.  The Lord, your God, shall you follow, and him shall you fear; his commandment shall you observe, and his voice shall you heed, serving him and holding fast to him alone. But that prophet or that dreamer shall be put to death, because, in order to lead you astray from the way which the Lord, your God, has directed you to take, he has preached apostasy from the Lord, your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt and ransomed you from that place of slavery.  Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst." (Ch 13, 2-6)

And of course I was saying, "No wonder Jesus had it hard!"  A prophecy that a prophet will come but also saying that if someone claims to be a prophet to stone him because he's testing you.  What a test..."Hey, I want to see if those wankers will turn their backs on me...go tell them that you are a prophet and to worship this idol."  Man gets stoned to death.  "Well, I guess they still love me, but boy that looked like it hurt!"

"If one of your kinsmen in any community is in need in the land which the Lord, your God, is giving you, you shall not harden your heart nor close your hand to him in his need.  Instead, you shall open your hand to him and freely lend him enough to meet his need." (Ch 15, 7-8)

Verses 1 through 11 actually deal with Debts and the Poor and it goes on to essentially talks of debts and not being a greedy a-hole.  I figured only verses 7-8 were enough, but feel free to check out the rest!

In Chapter 18, verses 15-20 we hear about the coming of a prophet that speaks for the Lord and within the same paragraph a contradiction...or perhaps it would be better to say, enough of an ambiguous statement that would leave anyone scared to acknowledge a prophet:

"'A prophet like me will the Lord, your God, raise up for you from among your own kinsmen; to him you shall listen...(v15)...But if a prophet presumes to speak in my name an oracle that I have not commanded him to speak, or speaks in the mane of other gods, he shall die.' (v20)".  Not a bit murky at all is it?

I just about died laughing at this one:

"When two men are fighting and the wife of one intervenes to save her husband from the blows of his opponent, if she stretches out her hand and seizes the latter by his private parts, you shall chop off her hand without pity." (Ch 26, v 11-12)

Seriously?  I get the whole, women are worthless, meaningless, can be constantly divorced by their husbands and have not a damn thing to say about it, etc...right...we're dirt...got it, but I guess I'd get my hand chopped off, because if my husband were getting attacked and I could do anything to help him out I would.  Nut grabbing and all.  And this whole, nut-grabbing-hand-cutting verse was just out there flapping.  Like someone was writing down the Old Testament and just said, "Look...squirrel!" or in this case "Nuts!" (pun intended).

And finally the "catch all" phrase in Chapter28, verse 61, just in case the Lord forgot something:

"Should there be any kind of sickness or calamity not mentioned in this book of the law, that too the Lord will bring upon you until you are destroyed..." (regarding plagues that would befall them should they not obey the Lord).

Then we get into the Song of Moses, which is essentially Moses' last screw you, "I know you all are going to f@*k this up!  Now memorize this and teach your children so they too know what a-holes I thought you guys were. "  Then he dies.  I guess he was a grumpy old man...not that the Israelites didn't make him that way.  I guess I can understand his piss-off-ed-ness.

I find myself saying, "Let's get this done and get on to the New Testament!"  I guess I'm just a peace, love and joy type of chick.  All this hate and "fear me" crap is bringing me down!

Assignment 5 - The Book of Deuteronomy

The next reading assignment is the Book of Deuteronomy.  A bit from my Bible on Deuteronomy:

"The fifth and last book of the Pentateuch is called Deuteronomy, meaning 'second law.'  In reality, what it contains is not a new law but a partial repetition, completion and explanation of the law proclaimed on Mount Sinai.  The historical portions of the book are also a resume of what is related elsewhere in the Pentateuch.  The chief characteristic of this book is its vigorous oratorical style.  In a series of eloquent discourses Moses presents the theme of covenant renewal in a vital religious framework.  he exhorts, corrects and threatens his people, appealing to their past glory, their historic mission and the promise of future triumph.  His aim is to enforce among the Israelites the Lord's claim to their obedience, loyalty and love. The events contained in the Book of Deuteronomy took place in the plains of Moab (dt 1, 5) between the end of the wanderings in the desert (Dt 1, 3) and the crossing of the Jordan River (Jos 4, 19), a period of no more than forty days.  The Book of Deuteronomy, written after the Israelites had for centuries been resident in the Land of Promise, takes the form of a testament of Moses, the great leader and legislator, to his people on the eve of his death.  At the time of our Lord's coming, it shared with the Psalms a preeminent religious influence among the Old Testament books.  The Savior quoted passages of Deuteronomy in overcoming the threefold temptation of Satan in the desert (Mt 4; Dt 6, 13. 16; 8, 3; 10, 20), and in explaining to the lawyer the first and greatest commandment 9Mt 22, 35-39; Dt 6, 4)."

OK, so with no real prior knowledge of this book it looks like Moses gets sick of being the leader of the whiny.  So it should be interesting to see how he deals with them.  I'm sure there will be parts of Deuteronomy that I recognize, but going into this, nothing sounds familiar.  We shall see what we learn.  Hopefully it will yield more than listening to a bunch of people that really needed a time out!