Assignment 14 - Chronicles 2

Keep it going!  Onward through Chronicles 2! (Shocker, I know!)

Assignment 13 - Chronicles I

This is where I normally tell you what my bible says about the books of Chronicles.  Not gonna do it!  There is quite literally over a page of explanation on Chronicles.  I'm a good typist, but I have no desire to transcribe that much!  Instead, I think the first paragraph gives a fairly good summation and the following just elaborates, so let's be brief!

"Originally the two books of Chronicles formed, with the Books of Ezra and Nahemiah, a single historical work, uniform in style and basic ideas.  The Greek title, paraleipomena, means 'things omitted, or passed over (in Samuel and Kings).'  The Books of Chronicles, however, are more than a supplement to Samuel and Kings; a comparison of the two histories discloses striking differences in scope and purpose.  The Books of Chronicles record in some detail the lengthy span from the reign of Saul to the return from the Exile.  Unlike the exact science of history today, wherein factual accuracy and impartiality of judgment are the standards for estimating what is of permanent worth, ancient biblical history, with rare exceptions, was less concerned with reporting in precise detail all the facts of a situation than with explaining the meaning of those facts.  Such history was primarily interpretative and, in the Old Testament, its purpose was to disclose the action of the living God in the affairs of men.  For this reason we speak of it as 'sacred history'; its writer's first concern was to bring out the divine or supernatural dimension in history."


OK, so we don't need to worry about facts here.  Cool...onward...

A New Meaning to the 700 Club...Thanks Solomon!

Ah Kings.  Still not a bad read.  As I've mentioned before, I'm not sure if I've desensitized myself to Old Testament violence, or if it's just getting better.  Maybe I'll could to a determination on that one eventually.

I noticed that I haven't been making as many notes as I'm reading.  Perhaps it's because I'm not as appalled as I once was.  Sadly, I really haven't seen anything inspiring that would get my highlighter going either.  It's like...blah.  Words, words, words, but at least not too much gore.  PG-13 teen movie.  Not bad, but I'm drooling all over myself and didn't learn much.

So what did I highlight.  Well, a lot more in Kings I than Kings II.  Here goes:

Shimei is told by king Solomon to build a house in Jerusalem and not go anywhere else under pain of death.  Years pass and some of his servants ran away.  He went after them.  Gets killed for leaving Jerusalem.  (1 Kings 2:36).  Um...K

I have to say that I was impressed at what Solomon chose as his gift from God.  He could have picked anything and picked knowledge, "Give your servant, therefore, an understanding heart to judge your people and to distinguish right from wrong.  For who is able to govern this vast people of yours?"

In the very next passage we see Solomon's wisdom with perhaps one of the best known passages from Kings.  When the two women (of course they are referred to as harlots...the Old Testament is good like that) come before King Solomon fighting over a baby.  Both claim it is theirs and to solve the dispute, Solomon orders the baby to be cut in half and each woman gets a piece.  Ick...but it worked.  The real mother gave up her claim to save her child's life, so Solomon then returned the baby (unharmed) to its rightful mother.

Solomon builds a temple in the Lord's honor, "It is your son whom I will put upon your throne in your place who shall build the temple in my honor" (said to David, about Solomon).  Of course, when this promise had previously been made to David (not regurgitated here in Kings I), I thought, maybe this was some Jesus foreshadowing.  I was wrong.  Not the first time and won't be the last!

As for the whole furnishing of the temple.  Wow.  Talk about over the top.  And people complain about Catholic Churches having ornate interiors and artifacts.  We've got nothing on this lot! (1 Kings, 7:13-51).

OK.  Now I know I've called "bullshit" on quite a lot in the Old Testament, but I really have to call bullshit on this one.  Solomon had 700 wives of "princely rank" and 300 concubines!  Um, when did the man sleep?  It apparently led to that gift of wisdom to not be used properly, because they got him ignoring the ways of the Lord and making him quite irate. (1 Kings, 11:3).

So in Chapter 13 a "man of God" came from Judah to Bethel.  The Lord told him to neither eat nor drink nor to go back the way he came as he passed through Bethel.  So an old prophet went out to him, lied by claiming that the Lord sent him to bring him back to his house to eat and drink, so what does the Lord do.  Has a lion kill him.  These poor dudes.  That sucks!

I got a kick out of seeing the succeeding kings almost always having the phrase that so-and-so, "did evil in the Lord's sight beyond any of his predecessors."  To become successively worse!  I wouldn't have thought it possible.  Silly me!

I swear God was bored and enjoyed watching these guys do crazy things.  In 1 Kings, 20:35-36 it reads "One of the guild prophets was prompted by the Lord to say to his companion, 'Strike me.' But he refused to strike him. The he said to him, 'Since you did not obey the voice of the Lord, a lion will kill you when you leave me.'"  Sweet!  You don't hit someone and you're punished.  Wouldn't it have been better to warn him ahead of time?  "Hey, yo, the Lord said to kick my ass.  I'd listen if I were you!"

And a good laugh at the 1 Kings, 20:31 with, "'We have heard that the kings of the land of Israel are merciful kings.'"  If they were merciful, I would hate to see the others!

In 2 Kings, 2:23-24 "From there Elisha went up to Bethel.  While he was on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. 'Go up, baldhead,' they shouted, 'go up, baldhead!' The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord.  Then two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the children to pieces."  Harsh!  A very strict no bullying policy.

And the last thing I really highlighted before burning through the rest of 2 Kings was that apparently the multiplication of loaves wasn't a Jesus-only thing.  Elisha did it too.  I did not know that.  I'll be curious to see if there are any others that do.  Interesting.

Hopefully, everyone got through their reading.  I know I'm posting late, but tomorrow's assignment will still go out on time!

Assignment 12 - The Second Book of Kings

Same deal as with Samuel.  Continue on to the Second Book of Kings and I'll be posting my comments on both on Saturday!  I hope everyone is enjoying their reading.  It certainly is enlightening...700 wives, Solomon?  Really?  Whenever did you sleep!

Assignment 11 - The First Book of Kings

Well, onward and upward.  Here's what my Bible has to say about Kings:

     "The two Books of Kings were originally, like 1 and 2 Samuel, a single historical work, In conjunction with the Books of Samuel, they extend the consecutive history of Israel from the birth of Samuel to the destruction of Jerusalem in 587 B.C.  This combined work is designed as a religious history; hence in Kings the temple, which is the chosen site for the worship of Yahweh, occupies the center of attention.
     The Books of Kings show clearly the theological bent of a Deuteronomic editor.  In them, as already in Judges, material from various sources, such as the 'book of the acts of Solomon' (1 Kgs 11, 41) and the 'book of the chronicles of the kings of Israel' (1 Kgs 14, 19), is forged into structural unity by an editor whose principal interest is in the fidelity to Yahweh of rulers and people.  The reigns of individual kings are adapted to an editorial framework consisting of a presentation and an obituary notice for each, in stereotyped formulas.  In between, the achievements of the king are reported - above all, his fidelity or lack of fidelity to Yahweh.  The faithful prosper; the unfaithful pay for their defections.  Since this is basically a narrative of sin and retribution, it would not be inappropriate to entitle the Books of Kings 'The Rise and Fall of the Israelite Monarchy.'
     Without minimizing the complexity of the process by which this material was transmitted for many centuries, one may speak of two editions of the Books:  the first at some time between 621 B.C. and 597 B.C. and the second, final edition during the Exile; probably shortly after Jehoiachin was released from his Babylonian Prison (561 B.C.)
     1 Kings carries the history of Israel from the last days and death of David to the accession in Samaria of Ahaziah, son of Ahab, near the end of the reign of Jehoshaphat, king of Judah.  Judgment is passed on Ahaziah's reign but the details are given only later, in 2 Kings.  We should note the two large cycles of traditions which grew up around the great prophetic figures of Elijah and Elisha, the former in 1 Kings and the latter chiefly in 2 Kings.  These cycles, which interrupt the sequence of regnal chronicles, were very probably preserved and transmitted by the prophetic communities to which there are references in the same traditions.  The Elijah cycle is the more important since it dramatically underscores Israel's critical struggle with the religion of Canaan.


     The principal divisions of the Books of Kings are:
          I.  The Reign of Solomon (1Kgs 1, 1-11, 43)
          II.  Judah and Israel to the TIme of Ahab (1 Kgs 12, 1-16, 34)
          III.  Stories of the Prophets (1 Kgs 17, 1022, 54)
          IV.  The Kingdoms of Israel and Judah (2 Kgs 1, 1-17, 41)
          V.  The Kingdom of Judah after 721 B.C. (2 Kgs 18, 1-25, 30)"


Hmm..so more Israelites behaving badly.  We'll see where this rates on the annoying scale and how severe the punishments are.  It should be interesting.  I have high hopes that I will enjoy it at least to the extent of Samuel.

Have fun with the reading!

Got Any Preparation H?

I couldn't find a picture of a hemorrhoid...

My apologies at the lateness of this post.  Previously I had to tell everyone to continue on to Samuel II and then you heard nothing from me when the post on both Books of Samuel were due.  Sadly, the reason was that the stomach flu hit our family.  Still not at 100% but at least I have some energy, so let's attack Samuel!

I actually was enjoying reading Samuel.  I don't know if I just resigned myself to the violence and chauvinism of it all and am looking at it as one crazy story, or if it was actually better.  I'll have to think about that, I suppose.  Let me know what you think.  Was this reading better or has it all been on par with the previous books.

Anyway, my highlighter got some use as I made it through these two Books of Samuel and I'll get to covering what struck me (good or bad) as I was reading:

So basically after the Israelites were defeated by the Philistines and they lost the Ark, the Lord dealt with the inhabitants of any city the Ark was moved to harshly.  What did he do?  He "ravaged and afflicted the city and its vicinity with hemorrhoids; he brought upon the city a great and deadly plague of mice that swarmed in their ships and overran their fields." (Samuel I, 5:6)

And so the Philistines moved the Ark from city to city with the plague of hemorrhoids and mice following along.  So the Philistines asked their fortune-tellers, " 'What shall we do with the ark of the Lord?  Tell us what we should send back with it.'  They replied, 'If you intend to send away the ark of the God of Israel, you must not send it alone, but must, by all means, make amends to him through a guilt offering...' " (Samuel I, 6:3) And what was the guilt offering?  Five golden hemorrhoids and five golden mice!  I'm still trying to figure out what their golden hemorrhoids looked like.  That gave me a good giggle!

So the Israelites then decide they want a king to lead them, which naturally ticks the Lord off to no end, but being the overly-indulgent Father that he is, he granted the request, but at the same time telling them that the king will eventually subjugate/oppress them and when they cry out for help, God will not answer.  Cool.

Fast forward and Samuel is telling Saul a message from the Lord regarding attacking Amalek, "...'Do not spare him, but kill men and women, children and infants, oxen and sheep, camels and asses.' " (Samuel I, 15:3).  Yikes!  I really get some indigestion over this whole killing everything crap.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I've seen the movies where they say that if you leave one infant alive s/he may rise up as an adult and try to avenge the death of family, but really...whatever!  I'm not all about this massacre everyone bullshit.  This doesn't bring me any closer to my faith.  It shocks and disturbs me instead.

So Saul does actually spare Agag (King of Amalek) and the best animals (no mention of sparing any of the women and children though), so God rejects Saul as ruler and it's all downhill from there for Saul!

"Do not judge from his appearance or from his lofty stature, because I have rejected him.  Not as man sees does God see, because man sees the appearance but the Lord looks into the heart." (Samuel I, 16:7)  I just really liked that quote.  Too bad people don't follow that now.  All we seem to do is judge by appearances.  Sad.

"All this multitude, too, shall learn that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves.  For the battle is the Lord's, and he shall deliver you into our hands." (Samuel I, 17:47)  Now this is something that I can find inspiring.  Is this the first time I've said it since we started?  It feels like it.

So David marries Saul's daughter, Michal.  Saul is jealous and despises David for his favor with God and his prowess in battle.  He plans to kill David and Michal (who loves David), helps her husband to escape.  Very nice indeed, however, I found trouble with the passage, "Michal took the household idol and laid it in the bed, putting a net of goat's hair at its head and covering it with a spread." (Samuel I, 19:13).  Household idol?  OK, this really should have been explained earlier, because I didn't think that this would be allowed?  And if it isn't allowed, why would David as God's chosen ruler for the Israelites tolerate such an idol in his house?  I mean it's just mentioned like it's something everyone had.  Hmmm.

I noticed that in Chapter 21 there was a subheading of "The Holy Bread" and after reading it I immediately thought of communion.  While I understand that communion is the body of Christ and that wasn't the intent here, I have to think that it may have had some tie-in.

Also, noted that in Chapter 28 there was a subheading, "The Witch of Endor".  Witches?  Fortune-tellers?  So is the bible saying that these are real?  If so, apparently saying they are real, but don't use them, or better, destroy them.  K...

Chapter 31 dealt with the death of Saul and his sons.  So the Lord apparently had enough of his crap and said that Saul and his sons would die.  Of course, Jonathan was killed too.  OK, now Jonathan was protecting David from Saul thus betraying his father, but serving David and the Lord...and he gets killed for it?  Seriously, Shakespeare is downright cheerful compared to this!

In the capture of Zion I was a bit disturbed by the phrase, "The lame and the blind shall be the personal enemies of David."  (Samuel II, 5:8).  Well, isn't that sad.  As if the lame and blind didn't already have problems!

A prediction of Jesus? (Samuel II, Ch 7:12-16) "And when your time comes and you rest with your ancestors, I will raise up your heir after you, sprung from your loins, and I will make his kingdom firm.  It is he who shall build a house for my name.  And I will make his royal throne firm forever.  I will be a father to him, and he shall be a son to me.  And if he does wrong, I will correct him with the rod of men and with human chastisements; but I will not withdraw my favor from him as I withdrew it from your predecessor Saul, whom I removed from my presence.  Your house and your kingdom shall endure forever before me; your throne shall stand firm forever."

Later in Chapter 13 we've got one of David's sons, Amnon, raped his sister Tamar.  This pissed off their brother Absalom who he has him killed which pisses of David.  Really?  OK, if you had punished Amnon for being a little rapist shit, he might still be alive.  Holy cow this part pissed me off!

In Chapter 21 Goliath of Gath reappears.  Resurrected from the dead or just same name different dude?

That's pretty much all I highlighted.  More in Samuel I, I know, but despite the sarcasm and irritation in my post, I found the reading more enjoyable.  At least not painful.

Assignment 10 - The Second Book of Samuel

I'm writing this minutes before running out to a Cub Scout Camping weekend and after just having finished a PTA Carnival this week, so blog post on both books of Samuel will happen next Saturday.  In the meantime, move on to Book 2!